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Thursday, February 6, 2014

Justin Bieber is what's wrong with American Christianity

So last week, some mindless ninny who blogs about Christianity requested that a million Christians covenant to 'speak life over Justin Bieber." Because poor little Justin was busted for drag racing his Lambo in Miami and being drunk and high behind the wheel.
This well-meaning, but theologically embarrassing woman felt that it was all because it's just so hard being a child-star and having all that money and all those people pulling him in all those directions was too much for anyone to take. Poor Justin needs to have people speaking life over him. (This is a mildly Pentecostal practice where they believe you can change someone's life by just saying positive things about them to the magical air-genie who carries those words to God and then those things wonderfully happen. It's pretty much the same benign heresy that Joel Osteen teaches every Sunday) I'm sure the fact that JB's mommy, Pattie Mallette, is a rising star on the Evangelical speaking circuit, pumping her new book "Nowhere but Up: The Story of Justin Bieber's mom" plays into this desire to "love Beiber to Jesus." And who thought it was a great idea to give Ms. Mallette a book deal? Why Thomas Nelson, of course! The biggest Christian publisher in the world. And why? Because she is a theological wunderkind, who makes Beth Moore seem shallow? Because she has a track record of raising great kids and we all need her advice? Because she is a compelling character who defines the "Proverbs 31 woman? Heck no! It's because her despicable offspring is popular on a level that few will ever comprehend. He's on the news daily. He's Disney's biggest money maker. And he's a disgusting, shameful, mindless, moron who didn't even know who Anne Frank was, and who thinks it's funny to get wasted and race his supercar through the residential neighborhoods. He is a bacteria on the toilet seat of humanity and he needs some Lysol...not "life spoken over him."
Let me show you what careless driving can do:

That white truck...that's my work truck. I owned it for about a week when the driver of the Mustang was texting and driving and rammed into the back of it. It's likely totaled. If you know what I've been through, you know how hard it was just to get that truck. Now it's a loss. This guy wasn't drunk, or high, or driving an exotic supercar. Think about what that would have looked like. 
Bieber was doing this in a residential area. He'd been warned before. By Keyshawn Johnson. Look...if Keyshawn Johnson doesn't throw a scare into you, you are incorrigible. So what does this have to do with American Christianity? Plenty.
The well-meaning lady who wrote the blog asking for all of us to "speak life over Justin" she probably thought this was what Jesus wanted. She probably thinks this is what it will take. She probably thinks little kids should get participation trophies in Little League because failing hurts. She probably thinks all we need is love.
She's an idiot.
Justin Bieber needs a giant boot in his butt. He needs some Godly men to meet him and tell him "You are NOT saved kid. You are heading to Hell. Period. You betray the Faith you claim and you make a mockery of the Grace that would save this world." Thomas Nelson should pull his mom's book deal. Why should they be making money from the story of a how this woman raised a wretched, despicable, miscreant? 
Thomas Nelson should be forced to refund every dime they made from dishing out this bilge. 
A week after this miserable little troll got busted for drag racing under the influence, he does this: 
I wish the pilot had the ability to open the cabin door and shove this little cretin out into the wild blue yonder. Him and his pose-a-thug friends. 
Pastor Abedini needs life spoken over him! Those thousand of little girls who were rounded up and sold into sex slavery at the Super Bowl...they need life spoken over them. If you really HAVE to pray earnestly for a rock star...pray for Bono. The guy is a REAL believer. He is living his Faith with every single breath. Pray for him and his family. Pray for me. I'm sick of living in my truck. Pray for my daughter who faces a harsh world every day. 
Stop wasting your breath on this turd. You embarrass me as a Christian. We're supposed to be the standard bearers of righteousness. Instead, we get so enamored with someone's fame that we seriously think our role is to intercede in earnest prayer for them, while neglecting the people with far more desperate needs who sit right next to us in our churches.
Does Jesus love Justin Bieber? Of course he does. But he loves him no more than he loves some kid picking through the Basurero in Mexico City, looking for a scrap of food. In fact, I'm sure Jesus is pretty angry with Bieber in a way he will never feel for the Mexican waif. 
Bieber is a fraud. It's time to admit it, Western Evangelicals. That is NOT salvation. Pray death over him instead. Death to his lies. Death to the deceit he believes in his heart. Death to the gladhanding Christians making money off him because he simply "names the name."
And Justin...if I am ever a pilot and you try that stuff on my flight...pack a chute. And Jesus for real dude, because you are heading for Hell. No kidding and no mincing words. It's not too late. If you lose EVERYTHING but find Jesus you will be better off by far.
THAT is speaking life!

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