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Monday, May 26, 2014

Divorce and the Santa Barbara Killer...

My thoughts about the Santa Barbara Killer...some things you might not have thought about...
Santa Barbara Killers Family situation
This might be wildly unpopular to say, and I certainly don't mean it as a blanket statement about all of these incidents and / or all divorces. But you see these horrible massacres and if you're paying attention at all, the majority (not every single incident, but the majority) that take place have one something in common that gets overlooked...divorce. Does divorce produce anti-social, maniacal killers? NO! I am not saying that. But it DOES produce a vacuum in the souls of the children. That vacuum is different for boys and girls. With girls, it produces, almost unanimously, the devaluation of her womanhood as she deals with the absence of her daddy. (Writing this from the presumption that -as is the case in most divorces- the dad leaves and becomes far less involved in the life of the children, even if that's not the way he wanted it) It accelerates the desire to be "seen" by the next man after her dad...which is normal at a certain stage in a woman's life but becomes a need-filler in cases where the dad is distant. In boys it strips him of his role model for manhood and, having done this, it leaves him wondering if he is a man or ever will be one. As Ed Tandy McGlasson ( Visit Ed's site here for GREAT info for dads!) brilliantly puts it.."How does a boy know he's become a man if another man doesn't define it for him and tell him when he has achieved it? It's like playing football without end do you know you scored?"
The other thing at play here is the Biblical position of a dad as the spiritual covering and bodyguard for his family. Do I think that all homes without fathers are invaded by evil? No. But I do think that since God specifically ordered the father to be the "priest of his family" and the covering until adulthood, if he abdicates that role, he leaves his family unprotected. It's hard enough battling evil when you DO have an intact home...removing the person designed to provide spiritual guidance and protection stacks the odds against your family and leaves evil an open door. This young man's parents were divorced. Is that the reason he did what he did? NO! But it sure is amongst the common denominators in these things. More and more I realize how important it was for me to have endured the six years of hell and stayed active in my daughter's life.
Dads...know your role and do not quit!

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