I'm sitting in Panera, where I often come to write, whether it's a new book or a blog post. Listening to some music (at the moment it's Bowie, "Young American" but it's on shuffle...Springsteen is next) and thinking about life.
My life has most definitely not been tidy and neat.
In December 1999 I went through a terrible divorce that broke my heart. It made me feel very different from other guys my age.
In January 2007 I lost my home when the mortgage industry started to collapse. It hurt like crazy to lose that place of mine. I had five acres and a big vegetable garden and a 750 square foot detached garage where I built furniture and worked on my cars. Losing my home made me feel very different from other guys.
In March of 2008, The company I worked so hard for closed their doors and I was without a job. Not only that, but the whole industry collapsed and I couldn't find a job at all. I was now homeless and I had a daughter to worry about. I was crushed and embarrassed and humiliated. And again I felt very very different from other guys my age.
I spent 4 years...from May 2008 until January 2012 living in my car. I completed my Bachelors degree online while living in a Volvo 850, until that died and I scraped together enough money for a used 1996 Yukon. I hid from view for the most part, because homelessness embarrassed me and made me feel very different from everyone else.
I graduated in May 2012. I started a carpentry business to try to pay the bills while figuring out my next move. I wrote a Christmas book. But I am still struggling. Work is infrequent and my landlord sold the house last month. I am afraid of the future for the first time in my life. I am going to be fifty this fall, and I can hear the time whistling past my ears. I don't have anything like the life other guys my age have. And it makes me feel very different from them all.
The truth is I don't fit here and I never did. 15 years and I feel like I am still living from a suitcase. I wish I could go home.
I had a talk this afternoon with an older man whom I know and respect. He filled in a few gaps for me. I had labored under the impression that the group of people who essentially turned their backs on me during that horrible time were right and that I was a lazy, ne'er do well. I had such respect for them that when they turned their backs on me I thought I deserved that, and I worked hard to try to change some perception of me they'd had. It turns out that they treat everyone that way...everyone who isn't someone famous or wealthy or powerful. I lived in my car for four years so that I could remain in my daughter's life and not vanish like my father did from mine. I worked on my degree and graduated, I wrote two books. I also built chicken coops, pressure washed driveways and did a hundred other things to keep gas in the tank. And never once in all that time did they call me and ask how I was. They never checked on my daughter or offered me a job or bought me a cup of coffee. They did complain once that I wasn't suffering the right way and I should stop complaining, on the few occasions that it was all overwhelming. Meanwhile I had to give away our two beautiful Springer Spaniels and our cat. Try doing that when your daughter is ten and loves them like family.
The people I needed to lean on only made me feel very different from everyone else.
They have never tasted failure or shivered in the dark in a car hidden behind a church, or showered in the rec center or washed in a public bathroom. I kept my clothes clean and my hair cut and tried not to "look" homeless and yet I was treated like a vagabond because they had no comprehension of how it hurt being in that situation. And I wasted four years trying to prove myself to them.
I thought I had brothers...
I watch the Laffing Devils and to be honest...I am a little envious. They are rough and edgy and certainly not like the folks I looked to for a little comfort and support. But had I been one of them and gone through what I went through, they would have helped me along. Because I am like them.
Tonight it dawned on me what it is that forges their brotherhood more than anything else. What it is that makes them take the Cut so very seriously and defend each other against all intruders. It's because they all have something or many things in their souls that makes them wince a little. They all have a memory or a lot of memories that they wish they could forget. They have all made mistakes and they all have scars that make them feel like they aren't like anyone else...anyone else except their brothers.
And there it is...
The real secret to the brotherhood these guys share and the bond that beats in all their hearts is that maybe the rest of the world sees someone rough and edgy and broken and not exactly a perfect fit in the mainstream, but the brothers all see another brother. They see themselves looking back and maybe this is the only place on earth where they don't feel awkward and out of sync with everyone else.
They might never admit it out loud, but I think every man in the LDMC needs the others. Just because it's safe with them. They are different from the white breads of the world...but they are all different together.
I have some very very good Christian friends. It's just that only one or two live here.
To be honest...I've been a little beaten up by the saints. I wish I had a couple of devils around me right now.
This might be my final chapter about the Laffing Devils. I think this post really captures what they are about. I'm not sure yet but if it is...Bonez, Sancho, Danny Boy, Sandman, and the rest of you guys...you have something that the "regular" people only wish they had. It's rough around the edges but the heart is pure. It's a lot more like what Jesus had in mind for His brothers than we church folk might admit.
Stay safe and keep the shiny side up. And guard that brotherhood.
Showing posts with label The Laffing Devils. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Laffing Devils. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Brotherhood and The Laffing Devils Part 3
Big Brothers
So last night I was watching "The Devils Ride" again. It's hard, given my current living situation but I find it where I can and what I can't watch, I can get in pieces on the Discovery Channel page.
The club has been in turmoil. The founding Prez left and has been subsequently disgraced. In fact his disgrace is such that I won't speak his name or mention him from here on out. Because it's despicable to me.
Anyway, a new Prez was installed last year, and that's really been the premise of the show since it's inception...how the club was handling growing pains, how the older members were accepting the influx of new blood and whether the new blood was even a good idea. I could write a whole thread on this alone in comparison to the church and our discomfort with modernity but that's not really the lesson here.
The topic has been brotherhood and how it's demonstrated in the church compared to how the Laffing Devils demonstrate it amongst each other.
Yet another leadership change rendered the group in chaos. Last night there was a group of new members brought in to replenish the dwindling numbers. They seemed green to me and I felt uncomfortable with it. It's not my club, but I have watched this group of men carefully and I was imagining how this must have made some of the older guys feel. There was a comment made about guys getting their patch (which means you can ride with the club) without doing any prospecting. Prospecting is that period where you are essentially being checked out, poked, prodded, and investigated as to your character, your trustworthiness, your willingness and ability to behave like a real brother and your accepting of your low rank when you first come in. Are you going to be willing to prove yourself or are you arrogant and a hot dog who thinks he should be a full member right away?
Lots of men think they belong in a group like this. Most of them are pretenders who are weeded out right away. A few more fall out after a short while. Precious few prove themselves over again until they are trusted and finally accepted as brothers.
But that's the point...
You are becoming a brother. You aren't joining a bowling league or drinking beers by the curb with Hank Hill. This is a serious membership, not to be trifled with. When the crap hits the fan and you are up against it, these men will not run. They will stand by your side. If you are wrong, they will still stand by your side. They'll call you on it privately, but in public it's you and them against the world. They expect the same from you. That's why getting a patch, and eventually your colors, is nothing to hand out like candy at Halloween.
It's the same in the Church. We throw around the terms "Brother" so frequently that we don't even realize it anymore, and we certainly don't think about the enormity of what those words mean.
I am essentially an orphan. I have a biological family that I am not a part of for various reasons. Not to all of them at least. I have three brothers and I have no relationship with any of them. One of them I've never even met. But I always wanted a close brother. I wanted to be one of the Unsers or the Matthews brothers. I am a hockey player...I wish I had been a Sutter.
I have a real, strong definition of brotherhod and I don't like being called "brother" if you aren't going to be my brother.
The church is bad about this sometimes. We have called each other brothers for so long that it's just a word now. We have "patched" so many new brothers without "prospecting" them first that our "Colors" have been cheapened just a bit. I'm not talking about doubting the Christianity of those men in the church, but I think brotherhood needs to be proved, whether it's in a motorcycle club or a prayer group.
Last night, the older members raised objections to the new, untested patches. I agree. I refrain from calling someone my brother for the same reason as Danny Boy argued about easy patches; Nobody has proved nothin'!
Stand by me for a while first. When my night is dark and cold and I am worried about my future or my daughter, let's see who is still around when the sun comes up again. When I am broken down by the side of the rode and can't find my tool box and it's 2 AM...let's see who answers the phone. Even if I called them just last week for the same reason. That is a brother. Whether you are my brother in Jesus or my brother in blood and membership in a motorcycle club...a brother is a sacred thing.
A brother is what Vietnam vets call each other. It's what the LDMC call each other. It means you're family.
You can't give yourself the title...you earn it.
Christians would do well to prove themselves to each other a little more.
...by being brothers.
So last night I was watching "The Devils Ride" again. It's hard, given my current living situation but I find it where I can and what I can't watch, I can get in pieces on the Discovery Channel page.
The club has been in turmoil. The founding Prez left and has been subsequently disgraced. In fact his disgrace is such that I won't speak his name or mention him from here on out. Because it's despicable to me.
Anyway, a new Prez was installed last year, and that's really been the premise of the show since it's inception...how the club was handling growing pains, how the older members were accepting the influx of new blood and whether the new blood was even a good idea. I could write a whole thread on this alone in comparison to the church and our discomfort with modernity but that's not really the lesson here.
The topic has been brotherhood and how it's demonstrated in the church compared to how the Laffing Devils demonstrate it amongst each other.
Yet another leadership change rendered the group in chaos. Last night there was a group of new members brought in to replenish the dwindling numbers. They seemed green to me and I felt uncomfortable with it. It's not my club, but I have watched this group of men carefully and I was imagining how this must have made some of the older guys feel. There was a comment made about guys getting their patch (which means you can ride with the club) without doing any prospecting. Prospecting is that period where you are essentially being checked out, poked, prodded, and investigated as to your character, your trustworthiness, your willingness and ability to behave like a real brother and your accepting of your low rank when you first come in. Are you going to be willing to prove yourself or are you arrogant and a hot dog who thinks he should be a full member right away?
Lots of men think they belong in a group like this. Most of them are pretenders who are weeded out right away. A few more fall out after a short while. Precious few prove themselves over again until they are trusted and finally accepted as brothers.
But that's the point...
You are becoming a brother. You aren't joining a bowling league or drinking beers by the curb with Hank Hill. This is a serious membership, not to be trifled with. When the crap hits the fan and you are up against it, these men will not run. They will stand by your side. If you are wrong, they will still stand by your side. They'll call you on it privately, but in public it's you and them against the world. They expect the same from you. That's why getting a patch, and eventually your colors, is nothing to hand out like candy at Halloween.
It's the same in the Church. We throw around the terms "Brother" so frequently that we don't even realize it anymore, and we certainly don't think about the enormity of what those words mean.
I am essentially an orphan. I have a biological family that I am not a part of for various reasons. Not to all of them at least. I have three brothers and I have no relationship with any of them. One of them I've never even met. But I always wanted a close brother. I wanted to be one of the Unsers or the Matthews brothers. I am a hockey player...I wish I had been a Sutter.
I have a real, strong definition of brotherhod and I don't like being called "brother" if you aren't going to be my brother.
The church is bad about this sometimes. We have called each other brothers for so long that it's just a word now. We have "patched" so many new brothers without "prospecting" them first that our "Colors" have been cheapened just a bit. I'm not talking about doubting the Christianity of those men in the church, but I think brotherhood needs to be proved, whether it's in a motorcycle club or a prayer group.
Last night, the older members raised objections to the new, untested patches. I agree. I refrain from calling someone my brother for the same reason as Danny Boy argued about easy patches; Nobody has proved nothin'!
Stand by me for a while first. When my night is dark and cold and I am worried about my future or my daughter, let's see who is still around when the sun comes up again. When I am broken down by the side of the rode and can't find my tool box and it's 2 AM...let's see who answers the phone. Even if I called them just last week for the same reason. That is a brother. Whether you are my brother in Jesus or my brother in blood and membership in a motorcycle club...a brother is a sacred thing.
A brother is what Vietnam vets call each other. It's what the LDMC call each other. It means you're family.
You can't give yourself the title...you earn it.
Christians would do well to prove themselves to each other a little more.
...by being brothers.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Brotherhood and the Laffing Devils...part 2
Something about the word brotherhood makes most men smile. If not outwardly, than inside for sure. We watch shows like "Band of Brothers" and we wish we could have the kind of friendships forged in the fires of difficulty and testing and peril. Because those friendships go well beyond the kind we form at neighborhood cookouts and PTA meetings and on the golf course. We watch movies like "Miracle" and we understand why those great hockey players from 1980 are still joined at the soul and still care deeply for each other. Because they endured something so hard that most other men would have quit. It was getting through the test that was half the battle and it's what made you a brother. It made you a brother because it proved to the others around you that you were cut from the same cloth. That you had the stuff. That you were willing to work every bit as hard as they were and that they could count on you to give your very best until you had nothing left to give.
That's where brotherhood is born.
David and Jonathan were brothers like this. David was the future king of Israel, and the present king, King Saul, despised him for his status as God's favored man. Even though David honored Saul and respected him and loved him as his king...Saul tried to kill him several times. Jonathan was Saul's son and he loved David as a brother, and it was literally taking his life in his own hands to defend him against his fathers jealous insanity. But he did. He did because David was his brother. And even if it cost him his life, he would stand by his friend.
There is a sad scene that plays out in their friendship. Jonathan discovers a plot against David and he warns him about it. They meet in a field at dusk and they embrace and weep openly, because they realized that this was likely the last time they would see each other alive. It was heartbreaking.
Paul often describes leaving churches on his missionary journeys and the people hugging his neck and weeping. Paul was a brother.
I watch the LDMC guys and I see the same devotion. It's not cloaked in the innocence of young adulthood, as it was with the teen-aged David and Jonathan. And it's not quite the same as Paul and his relationships with the early churches. But it's similar at it's heart. These guys really care about each other. And they care about the club and their colors. They get frustrated with each other sometimes because they care so deeply. A brother in the club letting you down or breaking the protocol is a heart-wound, and it incites passion and emotion. These are tough men who have been hardened by life. Some of them have deep wounds and the club is their refuge. Most of them are distrusting of anyone not wearing the Cut. That makes the brotherhood they share with their other members so much more important.
It's an amazing parallel for my brotherhood with Christ. He is the only person...outside of my daughter...who has never once failed me. He is the only one who I know will stand by me. His blood is my "color" and my white robe of forgiveness is my "Cut". He is the only person who really knows me...with all my failings and frailties and bad habits and weaknesses, and yet loves me and stands by me.
I am told to have the same mind as Jesus has where my brothers in Christ are concerned. (Philippians chapter 2) yet how many times have I held a brothers sins against him? How safe is it for a broken friend to let his hair down in my presence and find in me, someone who won't judge him?
I watch the LDMC guys and I see something closer to unconditional brotherhood than I have ever received with only a few exceptions. Like salvation, there is only one way in the club. But once you are in, you are in. Whatever you are to the outside world, when you are amongst your brothers you are a brother as well.
Five years ago, when the mortgage industry collapsed and I lost my home and my career and I was sleeping in my car hidden behind a church, I longed for someone who would remind me who I was. That what I lost was not who I was, and that I had a safe haven. I had to call home and talk to friends I grew up with. My "club" was 900 miles away and the distance, at times, seemed like it was unimaginable.
I watch the Laffing Devils and I see a model for a men's ministry in a future church I will pastor. I want to have a place where honor and integrity can mingle with toughness. I want guys to see a place where their hearts are safe and where they realize that devoting yourself to your friends is the highest calling. I want men who are able to be brutally honest with each other because underneath the toughness they know they love each other as brothers. I want to raise up a church full of men who know each other, care about each other, accept each other, help each other get better and stand by each other until the last shots are fired.
I want to teach brotherhood...because while we often call each other "Brother So-and-So" we seldom really live like we are brothers. The saints could learn a little about this from the Devils.
That's where brotherhood is born.
David and Jonathan were brothers like this. David was the future king of Israel, and the present king, King Saul, despised him for his status as God's favored man. Even though David honored Saul and respected him and loved him as his king...Saul tried to kill him several times. Jonathan was Saul's son and he loved David as a brother, and it was literally taking his life in his own hands to defend him against his fathers jealous insanity. But he did. He did because David was his brother. And even if it cost him his life, he would stand by his friend.
There is a sad scene that plays out in their friendship. Jonathan discovers a plot against David and he warns him about it. They meet in a field at dusk and they embrace and weep openly, because they realized that this was likely the last time they would see each other alive. It was heartbreaking.
Paul often describes leaving churches on his missionary journeys and the people hugging his neck and weeping. Paul was a brother.
I watch the LDMC guys and I see the same devotion. It's not cloaked in the innocence of young adulthood, as it was with the teen-aged David and Jonathan. And it's not quite the same as Paul and his relationships with the early churches. But it's similar at it's heart. These guys really care about each other. And they care about the club and their colors. They get frustrated with each other sometimes because they care so deeply. A brother in the club letting you down or breaking the protocol is a heart-wound, and it incites passion and emotion. These are tough men who have been hardened by life. Some of them have deep wounds and the club is their refuge. Most of them are distrusting of anyone not wearing the Cut. That makes the brotherhood they share with their other members so much more important.
It's an amazing parallel for my brotherhood with Christ. He is the only person...outside of my daughter...who has never once failed me. He is the only one who I know will stand by me. His blood is my "color" and my white robe of forgiveness is my "Cut". He is the only person who really knows me...with all my failings and frailties and bad habits and weaknesses, and yet loves me and stands by me.
I am told to have the same mind as Jesus has where my brothers in Christ are concerned. (Philippians chapter 2) yet how many times have I held a brothers sins against him? How safe is it for a broken friend to let his hair down in my presence and find in me, someone who won't judge him?
I watch the LDMC guys and I see something closer to unconditional brotherhood than I have ever received with only a few exceptions. Like salvation, there is only one way in the club. But once you are in, you are in. Whatever you are to the outside world, when you are amongst your brothers you are a brother as well.
Five years ago, when the mortgage industry collapsed and I lost my home and my career and I was sleeping in my car hidden behind a church, I longed for someone who would remind me who I was. That what I lost was not who I was, and that I had a safe haven. I had to call home and talk to friends I grew up with. My "club" was 900 miles away and the distance, at times, seemed like it was unimaginable.
I watch the Laffing Devils and I see a model for a men's ministry in a future church I will pastor. I want to have a place where honor and integrity can mingle with toughness. I want guys to see a place where their hearts are safe and where they realize that devoting yourself to your friends is the highest calling. I want men who are able to be brutally honest with each other because underneath the toughness they know they love each other as brothers. I want to raise up a church full of men who know each other, care about each other, accept each other, help each other get better and stand by each other until the last shots are fired.
I want to teach brotherhood...because while we often call each other "Brother So-and-So" we seldom really live like we are brothers. The saints could learn a little about this from the Devils.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Defining Brotherhood...The Laffing Devils Series
Okay...so you take your inspiration where you can find it. Sometimes God speaks to us in a voice that only we hear. Where others see madness we see beauty. That's where this post is going to start...
About a year ago I came across a show on Discovery Channel, called "The Devil's Ride". It follows the lives of a motorcycle club in San Diego who go by the name "The Laffing Devils". I was fascinated by the show and by who these men are both in the club, and in their personal lives. I saw guys battling their own demons, guys trying to balance their marriages to their wives and their family lives with the marriage to their "colors" and their family in the club. Mostly...I saw brotherhood. Real honest to goodness brotherhood.
So I noticed a few of the guys post on Twitter and I started following a few of them. Now, I'm not one of those people who thinks that because a famous (or notorious) person "follows you back" on Twitter, you are their friend in the real world. Usually it means they recognize that you aren't a twitter troll or some jackass who wants to try scoring some personal tough-guy points on the internet. I've seen this with lots of people, not just the guys from the LDMC.
But last summer, I happened to notice a "Tweet" from one of the Laffing Devils guys that I follow. He goes by "Bonez". Apparently some Christian folks had decided that being a Laffing Devil somehow meant you took the name so seriously that you had no recognition of God whatsoever in your life, and they were trying to hammer him pretty good. I imagine they were doing their share of twitter evangelism, and making the guy's skin crawl. I can't remember what Bonez posted that made me ask him what was going on, I just remember feeling like I needed to apologize for the way some Christian folks behave. He was appreciative of whatever it was I said and not much else transpired.
While they were filming the current season, the LDMC guys all went silent on social media. I imagine it was part of the deal with DC so that nothing leaked out about the upcoming episodes. The show returned a few weeks ago and with it, the LDMC guys were posting with more regularity.
So last week I said hello to Bonez and asked him if the "faithful" were still giving him a hard time. He was nonplussed about it and I told him I was developing a Bible study about Christian brotherhood based on what I saw when I watched "The Devil's Ride". I guess Bonez saw that I was serious and he told me the analogy was actually perfect. "It's a great parallel example" he wrote back. Bonez is no dummy. None of these guys are.
I watch the show and I find things that I know I would miss if I looked through the lens of legalistic Christianity. I see things I wish I could experience. I see guys living out MY faith sometimes better than I do and--that I am aware of--none of them claims to have any particular relationship with Jesus. But they sure live like they do. At least where real brotherhood is concerned.
I was thinking about how these guys really love each other. There is politics, and anger, and arguing and sometimes violence amongst them. But all that existed within the 12 Disciples while Jesus was alive on Earth. Peter was loud and bragadocious and appointed himself the leader. He swore he would never betray Jesus and he lopped off the ear of the servant who came with the soldiers to arrest him. He lived with Jesus every single day for 3 1/2 years and then as soon as the heat was on, he denied he even knew Him and did so with a mouth full of vile obscenities. Jesus forgave him and there is no record that the other disciples ever held it against Peter. Because he was a brother.
They lived together, worked together, and learned about this new way of living from the son of God Himself. They had a special bond that their years of being together had forged. They were brothers.
I grew up in a home where brotherhood and family were never really embedded in our hearts. I became a Christian when...after growing up in church...I had my head-on-collision with Jesus at age 27 and never looked back. I saw in the Church a family, and I sought out other Christian guys to be my brothers. I sometimes found great brotherhood. Sadly...sometimes I was disappointed.
We Christian men talk openly about being "Brothers in Christ" but are we? If you are my brother, the same blood courses through our veins. If not literally than spiritually. If you lose, our entire family loses a little. If I don't have your back, who does? Brothers love each other. They laugh at each others jokes and at their mistakes, but they help them overcome those mistakes. They love each other with toughness sometimes but tenderness under it all. They love each other with integrity. They are honest.
I watched TDR last year and I frequently thought how much I wished I could have that here in Nashville where I have lived since 1999, and can only point to maybe one guy as a real "brother". Last year the club had to have a long heart-to-heart with a guy who had a serious chemical problem. They did what brothers do...they were tough as nails until they made their point. Then they were loving and offered to help any way they could. When this man lost his battle with some health issues, his brothers were visibly hurting and they vowed to watch out for his family as long as they lived. I'm guessing they have kept this promise.
They have had serious splits in their group, they have had ego driven arguments, battles for prominence, and disputes over who was running things.
...just like the Disciples did on the night of the Last Supper when two of them were arguing with Jesus over which one should be the greatest in the Kingdom. It was embarrassing then and it is embarrassing now two thousand years later. Two or three guys arguing over "sitting at the Right hand of God" while Jesus was washing their feet and serving them. Years later and there was never any evidence that those men ever had that argument again. They fought and then forgave. They argued with each other and then prayed together earnestly. They disputed doctrine and rules and then broke bread together in peace and loving friendship.
Just like brothers.
I see this every week when I watch "The Devils Ride". I see guys who are very very human. Very loving and very harsh. Very tough and very gentle. They are brothers. Their brotherhood is messy, and difficult and real. I share a common thread with my Christian brothers...the blood of Jesus. These guys share a common thread too...the blood that makes their "Cut" something sacred to them. They are different men indeed but that Cut makes them all the same.
I went through five years of hardship and loss when I lost my home and my career and even my pets. I missed time with my daughter and I worked so hard to rebuild my life. I was watching these men thinking how if this happened to one of their group, they would have done anything possible to help them fix it.
Their brotherhood is far from perfect but it's so darned real. The brotherhood I've experienced has been so careful. So cautious. So very dependent on my being perfect. Where the Laffing Devils care about each other without limit...we Christians tend to only care about those exactly like us, who do it our way, and who pose no threat to our neat little lives.
Inside, I think we all wish we had battle-hardened friendships like these guys do.
I'm going to continue this in the coming days and weeks. I hope my readers will maybe tune in to "The Devils Ride" see the guys and what it is that inspires me about this show. And maybe you'll find some inspiration from an unusual place as well.
If any of the LDMC guys stumble across this blog...be safe. Keep watching out for each other.
About a year ago I came across a show on Discovery Channel, called "The Devil's Ride". It follows the lives of a motorcycle club in San Diego who go by the name "The Laffing Devils". I was fascinated by the show and by who these men are both in the club, and in their personal lives. I saw guys battling their own demons, guys trying to balance their marriages to their wives and their family lives with the marriage to their "colors" and their family in the club. Mostly...I saw brotherhood. Real honest to goodness brotherhood.
So I noticed a few of the guys post on Twitter and I started following a few of them. Now, I'm not one of those people who thinks that because a famous (or notorious) person "follows you back" on Twitter, you are their friend in the real world. Usually it means they recognize that you aren't a twitter troll or some jackass who wants to try scoring some personal tough-guy points on the internet. I've seen this with lots of people, not just the guys from the LDMC.
But last summer, I happened to notice a "Tweet" from one of the Laffing Devils guys that I follow. He goes by "Bonez". Apparently some Christian folks had decided that being a Laffing Devil somehow meant you took the name so seriously that you had no recognition of God whatsoever in your life, and they were trying to hammer him pretty good. I imagine they were doing their share of twitter evangelism, and making the guy's skin crawl. I can't remember what Bonez posted that made me ask him what was going on, I just remember feeling like I needed to apologize for the way some Christian folks behave. He was appreciative of whatever it was I said and not much else transpired.
While they were filming the current season, the LDMC guys all went silent on social media. I imagine it was part of the deal with DC so that nothing leaked out about the upcoming episodes. The show returned a few weeks ago and with it, the LDMC guys were posting with more regularity.
So last week I said hello to Bonez and asked him if the "faithful" were still giving him a hard time. He was nonplussed about it and I told him I was developing a Bible study about Christian brotherhood based on what I saw when I watched "The Devil's Ride". I guess Bonez saw that I was serious and he told me the analogy was actually perfect. "It's a great parallel example" he wrote back. Bonez is no dummy. None of these guys are.
I watch the show and I find things that I know I would miss if I looked through the lens of legalistic Christianity. I see things I wish I could experience. I see guys living out MY faith sometimes better than I do and--that I am aware of--none of them claims to have any particular relationship with Jesus. But they sure live like they do. At least where real brotherhood is concerned.
I was thinking about how these guys really love each other. There is politics, and anger, and arguing and sometimes violence amongst them. But all that existed within the 12 Disciples while Jesus was alive on Earth. Peter was loud and bragadocious and appointed himself the leader. He swore he would never betray Jesus and he lopped off the ear of the servant who came with the soldiers to arrest him. He lived with Jesus every single day for 3 1/2 years and then as soon as the heat was on, he denied he even knew Him and did so with a mouth full of vile obscenities. Jesus forgave him and there is no record that the other disciples ever held it against Peter. Because he was a brother.
They lived together, worked together, and learned about this new way of living from the son of God Himself. They had a special bond that their years of being together had forged. They were brothers.
I grew up in a home where brotherhood and family were never really embedded in our hearts. I became a Christian when...after growing up in church...I had my head-on-collision with Jesus at age 27 and never looked back. I saw in the Church a family, and I sought out other Christian guys to be my brothers. I sometimes found great brotherhood. Sadly...sometimes I was disappointed.
We Christian men talk openly about being "Brothers in Christ" but are we? If you are my brother, the same blood courses through our veins. If not literally than spiritually. If you lose, our entire family loses a little. If I don't have your back, who does? Brothers love each other. They laugh at each others jokes and at their mistakes, but they help them overcome those mistakes. They love each other with toughness sometimes but tenderness under it all. They love each other with integrity. They are honest.
I watched TDR last year and I frequently thought how much I wished I could have that here in Nashville where I have lived since 1999, and can only point to maybe one guy as a real "brother". Last year the club had to have a long heart-to-heart with a guy who had a serious chemical problem. They did what brothers do...they were tough as nails until they made their point. Then they were loving and offered to help any way they could. When this man lost his battle with some health issues, his brothers were visibly hurting and they vowed to watch out for his family as long as they lived. I'm guessing they have kept this promise.
They have had serious splits in their group, they have had ego driven arguments, battles for prominence, and disputes over who was running things.
...just like the Disciples did on the night of the Last Supper when two of them were arguing with Jesus over which one should be the greatest in the Kingdom. It was embarrassing then and it is embarrassing now two thousand years later. Two or three guys arguing over "sitting at the Right hand of God" while Jesus was washing their feet and serving them. Years later and there was never any evidence that those men ever had that argument again. They fought and then forgave. They argued with each other and then prayed together earnestly. They disputed doctrine and rules and then broke bread together in peace and loving friendship.
Just like brothers.
I see this every week when I watch "The Devils Ride". I see guys who are very very human. Very loving and very harsh. Very tough and very gentle. They are brothers. Their brotherhood is messy, and difficult and real. I share a common thread with my Christian brothers...the blood of Jesus. These guys share a common thread too...the blood that makes their "Cut" something sacred to them. They are different men indeed but that Cut makes them all the same.
I went through five years of hardship and loss when I lost my home and my career and even my pets. I missed time with my daughter and I worked so hard to rebuild my life. I was watching these men thinking how if this happened to one of their group, they would have done anything possible to help them fix it.
Their brotherhood is far from perfect but it's so darned real. The brotherhood I've experienced has been so careful. So cautious. So very dependent on my being perfect. Where the Laffing Devils care about each other without limit...we Christians tend to only care about those exactly like us, who do it our way, and who pose no threat to our neat little lives.
Inside, I think we all wish we had battle-hardened friendships like these guys do.
I'm going to continue this in the coming days and weeks. I hope my readers will maybe tune in to "The Devils Ride" see the guys and what it is that inspires me about this show. And maybe you'll find some inspiration from an unusual place as well.
If any of the LDMC guys stumble across this blog...be safe. Keep watching out for each other.
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