Take your time Lord Jesus...

It's Friday morning July 20.
This morning...very early while most people were asleep or just getting to sleep, a masked gunman walked into a movie theater in Aurora Colorado with a gun, and a gas canister and opened fire on the movie-goers. 14 are dead as of right now and at least 50 wounded.
Just last week I wrote about hell and how it's the absence of God. Last night would qualify as a glimpse. Just a slight glimpse of that horror.
I know Paul and other Apostles frequently said "Surely come quickly Lord Jesus..." and I know it's biblical to say that. But I will never speak those words again.
I can't. I am sitting here thinking about the world my daughter is growing up in now and the world that awaits her children. It would be comforting for me to say "Come quickly Lord Jesus" because my daughter and those I love are all believers in Jesus and I know where they would be if He showed up today. But I was put on this earth for more than just my immediate family and a few close friends.
I can't escape the vision of hell as the Bible shows it. I want to know why it has been probably 25 years since I've heard a sermon on Hell. Why has this topic been abandoned by our pastors? Why?
If Jesus comes today my loved ones will be secure. But what about those around me whom I don't even know? Is it okay with me if they fend for themselves where their eternal soul is concerned, so long as me and mine are secure? Is that right? Is that being salt and light?
For me personally it's being selfish. I can't pray that prayer. I haven't done nearly enough to stem the tide of souls as they march blindly into hell. I need more time and I WANT more time.
It's not the reward in heaven I seek. It's the knowledge that there would be fewer souls suffering an eternity in unfathomable agony and horror. That's why I want more time.
My heart is in anguish for the lost, these days.
For me, my prayer is "Surely, take your time, Lord Jesus"